Coffee Talk

"Oh girl! I know exactly what you mean. My husband acts the same way" "Men talk about how complicated women are, but I've spent too many hours of my life trying to figure out that man." "Oh girl, you have no idea. They're all the same," she adds to her best friend jovially. "I just about have to use football terms to get his attention to start some of those chores I need help with." Both women break out into heavy laughter, but are careful not to spill their coffee.

Meeting with Marisol today was like meeting up with an old friend from high school. We talked about her kids, work, and relationships. However, we did not talk about any topic in a particular order or structure. Our conversation just flowed from one topic to the next and ebbed back like the waves on a shore of the beach. It is not a strain to find things to talk about with Marisol. We each contribute to the conversation and offer feedback and advice. To me, the mark of a growing friendship is visible in certain conversational aspects. For example, Marisol remembers details about my life and things that I have said, and then proceeds to ask about them later. I too will follow up with questions related to topics we have discussed before. The fact that we can remember details regarding each other's lives, and care to ask about those aspects later, demonstrates that we each value the relationship. When someone has to continually ask me the same information about myself because they forgot, that is a sign to me that they may not care as much about our relationship or developing it.

Today, Marisol and I talked for our entire meeting. After we both realized how much time had elapsed, we both began to get our belongings together. I apologized for just talking the entire time, and she reassured me that this [talking] helps and that she enjoys it. Her smile was warm and genuine. I left our meeting and walked back to my dorm with an indescribable warm in my heart and smile on my face. I can almost describe the feeling as a feeling of relief or contentment. The ability to connect one-on-one with another person is what binds us all together as humans. We are relational, social creature which is why I think I feel almost relieved and at ease when I leave our meetings. Our conversations are effortless, and our friendship continues to grow.