Who really was the teacher this semester?

Marisol and I spent our last meeting together like we spend most of meetings - talking. We talked about how our days had been so far, plans for Thanksgiving, and gave each other a hard time for not going to the gym early in the morning when we said we would. As I listened to Marisol talk, I could not help but think about how much I enjoy meeting with her and that this was our last meeting. Our meetings can hardly be described as structured tutoring lessons and our venue (the Rec Center) is not quite a classroom setting. Our "meetings" were times of bonding and times to get to know each other.

Confidence radiates from Marisol. I have seen her gain confidence in her speaking and reading abilities, but mostly, I have been able to see how confident she is in herself. I struggle with being confident in myself, and am thankful that I got to know Marisol. When I awaited her before our first meeting, I tried to imagine what she would look like, how she would act, what she expected of me, and how she would perceive me. Marisol surpassed my expectations, and I ended up learning about myself in the process of our weekly tutoring sessions. I saw in her the confidence I so desperately desired. Through learning about her experiences, struggles, and how she overcame them, I have had the opportunity to see someone who has been in the depths of a pit and escaped. She overcame her struggles, and so can I. Who really was the teacher this semester?

What comes next

Going to the gym is my escape and release. The moment I put on my headphones, I enter a different, surreal world. The music begins to play and the beats from the guitar seem to propel my feet faster and faster on the treadmill. Music transforms my persona. Based on the song I am listening to, I can feel reinvigorated, invincible, and unstoppable. Music has that ability to match our feelings and emotions.

While I was imagining myself training for some big race, with my music blaring through my headphones, jogging on the treadmill, I feel a small tap on my shoulder. I stop the treadmill and attempt to catch my breath and re-enter reality. I see Marisol by my side smiling. She and I always joke and give each other a hard time about how we both say we are going to go to the gym. We rarely see each other because one of us always decides to value sleep more than exercise on that particular morning.

Seeing her this morning was such a delight. Unfortunately, she found me not only to say hello but also to tell me that she could not meet this afternoon. Her daughter had a dentist appointment this afternoon during our normal meeting time. I told her that was completely understandable and fine. I told her we could just meet next week and pick up there. "Okay, thank you," she says. "We can meet next week, and then you are gone the week after that for the break, so I think next week is our last meeting right?" she asks. Honestly, I had not even thought about when our last meeting would be or was supposed to be. I told her we would discuss other meetings and continuing tutoring next week if she still wanted to. She seemed excited at the possibility.

My only worry is that it is difficult for me to determine how busy I will be next semester. I do not want to commit to more tutoring sessions and only give a half-hearted effort. I know that all things will work out how they are supposed to, and the right opportunity will present itself and be made clear.

One step at a time

Sitting in the rec center reminds me of when I learned how to two-step. A friend of mine took me to Billy Bob's on my first Thursday night while I was at TCU. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing or how to dance. I wore flip flops to dance in, a definite faux pas in country western dancing. Although I clearly demonstrated my inability to dance or fit into the atmosphere at Billy Bob's, I did not leave discouraged but rather with a desire to learn more. I desired to learn how to dance, how to dress, and how to put on a country western facade. My friend offered to help me, and we would practice late at night in the rec center. He taught me how to dance, how to follow while another person is leading, and some line dances. The next time I went to Billy Bob's, I felt a little more at ease and more experienced. The more times I went, he and I would dance together, and gradually I got better and better.

"I want to learn to read better. One day I will get it." Marisol's words today reminded me of the times when I was learning how to dance. Rather than feeling discouraged, I Marisol is continually inspired and spurred on to learn more. Her ambition to practice and practice is inspiring. She realizes that this process is not quick and cannot be rushed. She doesn't get frustrated, but rather delights in the quest for knowledge because she knows that the result will be worth the wait.

Marisol and I continue to work on her pronunciation and ability to identify and read words. I can see the potential in Marisol. It is sometimes difficult for teachers because when you see the untapped potential in your students, you desire for them to "get it" right away because you know they can do it. Marisol will learn how to read and write on her own time when the time is right. My job is to encourage her time after time until the time is right.